Dwell

Today I'm taking stock of my life. I'm 45 years old. My husband is a Children's Pastor at an area church. We've been married for 23 years! We have two sons, ages 18 and 15. I blinked once, maybe twice. I'm really not sure how all of this happened. And I'm very unsure about what comes next. I'm so happy and relieved, actually, to have a God who sees around the bend when I cannot. He most certainly leads the way. I guess it's not so bad to not be a planner. It makes it slightly easier to surrender and to seek out God's plan and allow Him to take the lead. Truly, more than anything, I just want to dwell with Him. I long to be in His presence. It is my drug, my high, my thrill. After being in the Presence of the Almighty God, nothing else satisfies me. I love the peace He gives. I love how He takes all of my worries, uncertainties and fears and changes the filter on my lens. Suddenly, my cares change and I feel at rest with Him, no longer needing to look around. I stop trying to meet my needs myself. I cease striving. It is only when I worship Him and look fully at Him that this happens. It takes time. It requires quiet and a lack of interruption. Time here is better spent than time anywhere else. Time here matters and is actually time spent. I wonder how many minutes or hours of my life actually count in the grand scheme of things. Much of it has been wasted as I look elsewhere. "Store up treasures in heaven, where moth and rust cannot destroy, and where thieves cannot break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will also be." Lord, turn my heart toward heaven today.